Tuesday, October 13, 2009

unemployment birthday cake

Unemployed workers who have been out of work for six plus months are starting to run out of benefits. AND I'm one of them. Unfriend me. Delete. Block or Hide me. But.. I'm not going away & I'M NOT GOING TO PRETEND that all is well, all the time.

My being unemployed for so long experience -has been "gainful" and sometimes painful.

My last job search, about three years ago.. How I remember those multiple job offers. Gosh! I thought I was something special. Then I made my decision and was happily employed... for about two years. I couldn't figure out if I should regret that decision when I got my pink slip 15 months ago. Especially, when one of the companies that made me an offer previously, asked me to interview for a writing assistant job they had open. I prayed to high heavens to get it. I shoulda gone with them back when there was this thrilling tug of war going on, over me. But as much as they seemed to want me this time, I just wasn't qualified. Who could I blame? Katie. That's who! The one I thought who needed me more. *laughing out loud*

Then, another ideal opportunity came my way.. It offered exactly what I was praying for. "Around the corner from my house, Lord. Please?" They interviewed me ad nauseam. Three weeks later I got the call... "It would be a disservice for us to pay you so much less than what you're worth." My heart sank. They'd already filled the position with some other body who apparently deserved to work for slave wages. BUT I WANT THAT JOB! The money is NOT the issue! It's within walking distance! Don't you know? I have commuter burn out?? Road rage? You need me! I'll gladly give up my toll tag and gas cards! Hire ME! I'll work for food money!! Then the HR lady surprised me by saying, "But wait!" We have you in mind for a brand new position that we're creating. But first, we have to requisition it." I called back weekly, bi-weekly, then monthly, for months. It has never come to be.

A job counselor later told me.. "requisition" was code for too old.. too qualified... too black.. too something.

Hiring managers say they want a coordinator/executive support/tech support/multi-tasking communicator/writer and organizer/team player/be all/see all/do all/ambidextrous/right hand/right brainer who can do back flips, moon walk and electric slide... blind folded! With me.. they get all of that and a big bag of chips, with Spirit! And maybe a dash of soul mixed in there! Right? But what they really want are subservient work horses who WILL work for food money!

The Spirit & the Soul of me, is authentic Jackie. Deep dish, too! God given.. designed, developed, cultivated. That other fluff... Is just stuff I figured out how to do along the way. And I'm pretty darned good at everything I do. Authenticity however, is a little challenging to market & get paid good money for in these challenging times. And earning enough to pay the rent -doing what you love takes a little time and a lot of resources to pull off.

Oh. I will eventually replace the lost income of that previous well paying job that afforded me those generous unemployment benefits checks. I sorta kinda do like driving the car I drive and living where I live. And my daughter loves her school and her friends. And did I mention she's about to turn 16? We've been blessed beyond measure, all things considered.. And the blessings have not stopped just because the money has.

But what I definitely won't get to do over .. is to be the best mom I can be to my daughter RIGHT NOW.. while she's observing my every move. Learning how I handle adversity.. With or without that perfect job or income. And so it is, I will use what's left in the benefits bank.. to give her a nice sweet 16 birthday - if you don't mind.

But we still gotta eat fruits & veggies...

So... There are articles to write, another blog and a book in the works that further exposes the checkbook dad. Thanks to the encouragement of my newly published friend & kindred spirit sister friend, LaVender over at MomsWeb & Mom's Peace Bites! In the mean time, I must do some stop gap work.. to remain sane & maintain some sense of solvency & to regain my credibility... Those absolute necessities in life.. To name a few.

This is only temporary.

I love being honest about This here. I'm not asking anybody for anything. I won't challenge or impose on friendships. I know who the real ones are by now, any way. But if I could ask any one for anything, this would be it.

And seriously. I'm not going anywhere. It seems like it, huh? I think what's happening is that I'm going through some mental changes about.. Seeing how God gets me through this without those back up unemployment checks. He's been testing me. Now I'm testing HIM! Doing like Saint Therese did.. Taking him at his word.

So everybody, just keep blogging and writing and singing and dancing and playing music and laughing and sharing and praying and taking care of yourself. And if you have any thing left over.. Help somebody else. Just pick up the phone. AND yes.. If you read my blog post of yesterday, I did pick up the phone and call my mother. It was a little awkward for me.. And I am sure it was for her. But it's all good. I'm still hers and she's still mine. And we still love one another deeply.

Please share this article and please share your thoughts..

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Art: "Virgin of Guadalupe Single Mother" by the Single mom @ Single Momathon


MOMSWEB said...

It takes a LOT of courage to share the reality of your life. I will definitely be sharing this post!

JackiesMagic said...

Thanks.. I don't have the readership that you have.. I guess I can be so open 'cause I know not that many people will see it.. And or nobody cares anyway.. That's not a pot shot, just my humble opinion about such things. Besides, this might be kind of reality that makes good people uncomfortable.

QueenBee said...

Girl you continue to hang in there. If God brought you to it, He will surely bring you through it. Nobody said it would be easy but this I do know, that you didn't get this far to let go now. Momsweb sent me.

eally said...

Hello, I followed Lavender's link to your site. We've been through our share of no job, new jobs over the last few years. I'm married and my husband is the primary breadwinner. We purchased our first home last year after living with family for 7 years. I started looking for ways to supplement our income while still being able to homeschool our son. I'm now earning a pretty good income "on my time" setting my own hours and being my own boss. These are some things I've tried over the last year: Elance.com (worked as a virtual assistant for a guy for about 5 months), now doing merchandising for 5 different companies...just type in google: merchandising companies or check out volition.com or narms.com
These are suggestions that have helped me and may help you? Good luck and God bless!

Lara said...

Hi Jackie. I'm here at laVender's suggestion, too, and I really enjoyed you humor and honesty.

I write a blog for our newspaper's Mom's website, but don't have a degree, so the fact that I'm a fabamundo writing machine only impresses me, and not the editors who could give me a real job :)

There are a lot of us having hard times - you're not alone. Hang in there!!

MeMandB said...

Jackie, I going to repeat what the last poster said "hang in there." And it's the same advice I keep telling myself also. Some how, somewhere things have to turn around. Life goes in cycles and right now – you and I are on that downward swing, but sooner or later it has to climb upward. I don’t know about your situation, but is going back to school an option for you. I am right now researching grants and scholarship for school. Sometimes it gets depressing because most of the scholarships are for people fresh of high school. However, I can’t give up. I keep telling myself that this journey is leading me somewhere better. It’s just a bit rocky right now. But like you sometimes it is so hard to keep the faith, especially when another bill you can’t pay comes in.

JackiesMagic said...

Thank you all so much. You have no idea what your comments have meant to me through out this day.

I'VE GOT A CRICK IN MY NECK.. over here on the right side and it reaches down to my shoulder blade.. Yep. That's the spot..

Anyway.. I got that from being hunched over the key board tweaking away at this .. what I thought was a perfect 1 page resume! But it ain't! It used to be a 2 pager! But after a couple of resume writing workshops.. I think it's the bomb, now! We'll see. Come back and read my post on that subject. LOL "RESUME WRITING IS A MIND F*!bleep!" LOL

I went back to school in April, actually. I was trained in massage therapy years ago in Georgia. Well.. in Texas you have to be licensed. YA'LL don't move to Texas! I went to school.. bought $400 worth of books.. and paid partial 1st month tuition.. depending on the checkbook dad's check to come to cover the balance.. and I was relying on God for the rest. Well.. I guess I should have been relying on God for that all of it! The came 3 weeks later.. And the school kicked me out. Couldn't wait.. even threatened to sue me if I didn't have the entire tuition paid by July 15th.. since I was delinquent.

Their loss.

I am suddenly learning about resources that I couldn't get info on until now. "Come back when they've repoed your car."

I have a feeling that I will have to move before Thanksgiving. By force. I'll pull a Josephine Baker on 'em! They'll have to drag me out in the rain!

I know that God will come through.. and I won't even be shocked. It's just what God does. I'm not even in a hurry anymore. What's the point? I'm just gonna wait and see how this plays out. And ... do the needful. With as much grace as I can. If only I could cover my baby's eyes.. that would be mo' better for me. We went thru this when she was a 5th grader. I took an emergency medical leave.. by force. My employer at that time didn't like that I was fainting and hemorhaging (bad spelling) and going to the doctor so much during business hours.. NOW THAT I DON'T HAVE THAT UTERUS.. NO WORRIES.

But my daughter was witness to the loss of our home.. our car. It was very hard on her.

And here we are again.



(I just scrolled up. Lordy! I always have so much to say.) Thanks for reading!

Fruitful Vine2 said...

I came over from Momsweb. I wish I had some sort of employement to give you but all I could do was pray. I prayed for you today. If God takes you to it He will bring you through it.

Trust in the Lord with all of your heart and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your paths(Proverbs 3:5&6)

Believer said...

"Seeing how God gets me through this without those back up unemployment checks. He's been testing me. Now I'm testing HIM! Doing like Saint Therese did.. Taking him at his word."

Before I read this, I was thinking about how I recalled scripture with gusto in my prayer closet, and God delivered.

It's a fact that the promise must come to fruition in the spirit realm first before it's realized here.

Be deliberate and be fervent when you approach the throne.

In the same spirit, I ask Our Heavenly Father to make a way out of no way! For He is the Way Maker! He is our tower of refuge, and a present help in the time of need.