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End of 2021 , New Year’s Eve Roast.. & Toast

The one person who made the biggest impact on my life, I met on New Year’s Eve. I imagine for others as well, new people and life changing events happen on this epic day at night. He is the father of my child who gave me the best gift of all, in addition to introducing me to Pat Metheny. No confessions here, unless you want to share yours. Send me an Email Subject Line. NYE baby daddy stories.
There is something about New Year’s Eve though, that makes the other 364 days of insanity and insolvency, and even the incredible increases and strokes of good fortune feel like a glorious -revenge festival for the left behind. We survived it all, despite the odds. We have to celebrate and count it all joy. 

As fireworks crackle outside my home office window, I recognize it’s only 9:36pm central time. The earlier, the better, I suppose. Our victories and victimhood in a years’ time are why we party so fucking early and hard on New Year’s Eve. It’s our release day from counting and rolling pennies then laughing all the way to the bank. A giant ass summation button pressed on the last second of the year, tripping the confetti drop. Kiss the babe standing next to you. Spritz the Champaign over everyone. Happy New Year! The old is safe and soundly put away for future reference.  The consensus, no matter our individual outcomes, is that it’s just really good to be alive for a -do over.. Unless it’s not. 

And we are so intentional on NYE, too. We feed like buzzards on the Christmas remains for that perfect other piece to our outfit, and glitter eyeliner and coffin nails in midnight blue. We call off intimate gatherings to go to a club instead. What is mo’ better fun than prepping and cleaning up afterwards -during a pandemic?  I’ve club partied NYE's abroad and only once as a mom with my sister-in-law. She actually took off her wedding ring. We are careful that our text messages don’t say any more than they must. In 2021, vague must be the new ghosting. “We are going to a club.” We? So, it’s best to have no attachments. Have even less expectations. Ya’ll know this circus of keeping it tight and real. No matter if it hurts.

And bless be. I have a Mystical Shaman Oracle Deck, and the Guidebook opened just now, landed on page 18, for the Completion card.  No surprise. - That’s what New Year’s Eve is about. Completion.

And now for my toast. 

Loosing my aunt Connie in April and my stepdad Joe in November, I am pressed for time to explore the limitless.  I’ve aged ten years just due to the loss and grief. My late grandmother once chastised me when I was a new mom at age 31, circa 1993, “I’ve been where you’re trying to get.”  At the time, I was pissed at her for saying that. Lady, I’m grown. (I thought/didn’t say) Now, nearly 30 years later, and on this NYE, #iAM thirty minutes away from fearless.. TBI and all.  Lonesome as I am, I am also joyful, abiding and gifted. Through each step I take, I hear her saying “I’ve been where you’re trying to get.” Not in anger but in love. Because she knew I was trying to get somewhere. Wouldn’t you like to be able to say that to your grandchild, even if it pisses them off?  Hearing her say that now, allows me to change my mind if I need to. To get where I’m trying to get.  You can come with if you want, Just ask. Email me. Happy New Year & Cheers!

Please join me on my wellness journey on Instagram in 2022.
Let’s “Get Where We're Trying To Get"

From the Dhammapada on The Pleasant, 

2. Avoid attachment to both what is pleasant
And what is unpleasant. 
Losing the pleasant causes grief. 
Dwelling on then pleasant also causes grief.

3. Do not cling to the pleasant. 
Let it pass, So that the separation will not diminish you.  

From the Dhammapada on Self,

10. One should not neglect one’s own moral good 
For the sake of another’s.
Learn first before teaching others.
Let each one embrace his own truth
And depot himself to its fulfillment.

 Anyone can teach you about love.  I can make you good at it.

| Photo & Prose by Jackie D. Rockwell |All Rights Reserved © 2008-2022 |