The evidence of a strong woman is conviction, pain management, self care, temperance and timing. At least one of these, if not all of these abide in her at once when she flexes. When someone she loves dies and this strong woman grieves, a sort of hell- breaks loose inside of her, only her mother would understand, and certain others might aught to.
|What Kind of Fking Nuts Are You? | Jackie D. Rockwell | November 2019|
Loss all around has been intense since the onset of the pandemic. Loss of financial security. Loss of tranquility. Loss of identity. Loss of privacy. Loss of life - due to Covid-19. And then there are those of us uniquely insulted by the loss of loved ones due to aging, everyday accidents and disease. The painful fucking truth of the general end state for every person in life is that everybody dies. And the strong or not, are left to grieve.
So what happens when people die? -Not the deceased, but those left abaft - in the aftermath.
I have been pecking at a book since 2008. At first, it was to be anecdotal and narrative, get self-published then get placed in the expectant mother and new mother sections at book stores and libraries. It was intended to be prolific for new moms and readers looking for a fresh take on the worlds oldest profession: Mothering.
And now, because 2021 has been a year of tremendous familial loss on both sides of my family, I feel like I could finish pecking at this tome and stir up shit on both sides of the parenting front. For Him & For Her. I am also in the throws of learning the ins and out of filmmaking, and my writing is better than it was in the early two thousands. But most of all, I am feeling kind of like a strongHER woman in my creative nature to bless ya’ll with a message about mother living and about daddy death.
In the beginning..
... when my daughter was in middle school, my book of basics was to be my gift to single mothers and their daughters who might need a bartender serving cocktails of nudges, meaningful conversations, nose wipes and mind sanitizers. It was going to be about relationships, sex, pillow talk, barbies, sweet dreams, whispers and shouts, sweet nothings and happier hours: 9-5 plus evenings & weekends. It was to encourage young women raised by single mothers to live more consciously than their moms might. And it was to be for conscientious mothers desiring to make clearer choices and use their voices and talents even when they think it’s not feasible to...
And now I want to finish this prize, enhancing the original concept above with another vibe for the unclaimed blessings of a father's seed that won't get handed down if he neglects to concede them while he is living. And I’m not talking about his Life Insurance Policies and Wills and Estates.
The entirety of a child’s life, it is frightening and exhilarating from a mother’s perspective. I have some idea that real dads feel the same way. I spent a lot of years in male dominated professions, I know a little something because I’ve seen a little something. Someone expressed to me recently, his trepidations of having children from other marriages left behind -in a possible quandary when his time comes. Then someone else said to me, "dead men tell no tales.” Based on this my incomplete writings in my book of basics will be a fusion of my perspectives written for expectant and new mothers AND expectant and new dads. And Imma get medieval on some asininity.
Anyone can teach you about love. I can make you good at it.
| Photo & Prose by Jackie D. Rockwell |All Rights Reserved © 2008-2021 |