As a woman seeking a woman I was excited to maybe go freshly somewhere. Hell yeah. Then Oh no. Winks and Waves and Thumbs Up felt too much like the woman seeking a man rodeo game. Bored with the teasers I decided not to play anymore. I was mistaken that women seeking women would not be characteristically afraid to commit with hard cash. Revealing paid for memberships means women are up and ready to make connections without trepidation. I also found that women’s photos and profiles were just as unthoughtful and indifferent as many profiles of men on these dating sites. I was pissed to realize that theeHarmony is just another parking lot.
I am not going to put my pictures and profile there amongst the junk parts for ugly truckers in hats to gaze at.
That curious flower in me has lost all her petals. As I am thoroughly done with any more exploration into real blind and unbiased attraction to like-gendered souls. It’s phenomenally too risky. Not for me, but for someone who would be genuinely attracted to me. As this was not a game I was playing for some kind of healing, it was a real place I resided with gentle and generous energy and intention. And it was not a mistake. The desire for Love had everything to do with it.
So in the end, the technical challenge of my “seeking woman” phase, grants me Serenity in my dedicated “straight" nature. Courage in my willingness to be honest and open and curious about my fluid sexuality and desires. And Wisdom in enlightenment to my original attraction to cisgender men.
I’m good with that.