In the past six months, I've changed emotionally. Well.. in the past year and six months, actually. Mydaughter first brought it to my attention.. She came home on break from college recently, and told me... "Mom, you've changed." This wasn't the first time she's said this to me. The first time was when I tooka job that entailed a forty mile-a-day, commute. She was in middle school at the time, and her life was in and of itself - without me in it, tumultuous. When she got home, I wasn't there. And she needed me more at that time than she did as a toddler. We worked it out two years later with a corporate merger layoff.
Recently, though, pursuant to her graduation from college, and my graduation to an empty nest, other peoples' perceptions and expectations of me, no longer matter. Not my mother's. Not my brother's. Not my grandmother's. And to a certain extent, not my daughter's. No menopausal melon here, but a prima goddess heaven bent on freedom! I want the cake and I want to eat it, too. I want the day job that brings the same excitement as my side gig, and weekends off! I want the side gig that pays in residual income! Trips! Savings account! Car program! I want to experience the thrill, the pressure, the ease, the fall-out, the success of this, as it's eluded me since I re-entered the work force circa 1994. I've been way too busy in single mother mode, suffering, care-taking, comiserating too much to take that seriously risky nerve wracking leap into the wild side of living from my true 'go-getter' nature.
Thank you, September 22, 2016! I've turned over a new leaf. Nothing meaningful that I want canelude me ever again.
"Just as time knew to move on since the beginning, And the seasons know exactly when to change, Just as kindness knows no shame, Know through all your joy and pain, That I'll be loving you always." -from the Stevie Wonder song, "As"
Anyone can teach you about love... but I can make you good at it.