What HE Said: “BLACK WOMEN ARE LOSING INTEREST IN BLACK MEN"

You know the story.. Max is smitten w/Jackie Brown & proceeds to prove it.

First, let me tell you that the Bible says, "Your gifts will make room for you."  Here’s why this statement belongs in this conversation.

My daughter is a scholar, a researcher, a scientist. And, an empath. - Like her mother. Congratulations are in order because she’s just been admitted into a doctoral program of life-changing proportions. Not only life changing for her, but for the world. Specifically, the USA.  And here’s why.

Since her undergrad days, this young person has learned to interpret and translate information that is evidence based, to help people.  Not shocking to me, even though before college, she was a respected lights and sound and stage technician. All through her growing up years, however,  it was clear she was extremely thoughtful. You could always expect her rationale. She could always back it up with facts. She was the little child asking adults, “.. but you know what?”   From kindergarten into grad school and clear into her chosen profession, her elevated states of learned thoughtfulness is not a fascination, but an experience. 

This post is not to humble brag about my daughter. This is a preface to a truthful and entertaining video I am compelled  to share and I hope I will and it, will be heard via this medium. A video, not of my making, but, I just happened upon it. And I need to share it in the context of my own evolution as a mature Black woman who is Seeking Max Cherry. 

At 2:22am, I finished touching up a creative project, but was still in the zone. When I saw the time staring at me, I paid attention to the vibe of the last five hours of creating. It was an orchestrated score. The birth of my new blogpost playlist, dictated by my current mood, from my new “Living Room.” Before I could shut-it-all-down, my mind was racing and going deeper and deeper, becoming more, profoundly composing what to write about (play) next. Do I want to speak it? Do I want to write it? Do I want to podcast it? 

It’s late. I’m tired. What time is it, again? 2:22. Shut it down, Jackie. Sleep with it. And I must have done just that.  Seven hours later, a voice in a video speaks a ring of truth. Facts. No lies. 

I don’t want to ramble. I’m here to share a message, as told by a young Black man on his YouTube channel. I am not a YouTube junkie, but I do go there for entertainment and news from time to time. All things considered, I don’t think it was random that this video found me. 

His roll is a little slow, but it is going somewhere. So watch the entire thing. I mean, if you are a single, unmarried, Black American dude, 25-65, marriage or relationship-minded, it might help keep you from prematurely returning to normal unconscious unawareness.  It might not. The dude did not cite academia, but there is indication he and his cohort in the picture inset, studied somethings (of some kind). And I, a fifty-something Black woman of sound mind and body, resonate with most of their commentary. Call it divine intuition. I’m just saying.. 

I can hear a chorale of certain brothers and sisters finding and unfolding disharmony in this conversation. I cannot help ya'll get beyond that. I can imagine all the social media posts responding to this video originally posted about a month ago. I won’t seek to harvest those. All I can ask is that if you are thoughtful, you will appreciate the message. This is TheShumakeWay and me being supportive, not directive. Watch. 

   

 Anyone can teach you about love. I can make you good at it.

| Original Photo & Prose by Jackie D. Rockwell | All Rights Reserved © 2008-2021 |

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Come on now! [I said.] Seriously? For starters.. He has to be, at the very least, an inkling of that POWER on his own. I’m not willing to make anything from scratch when he totally disregarded the teachings of his mother, his sisters, aunties, grandmothers, teachers and all the other “psychopaths” -that broke him. just sayin 🙏🏽

Meanwhile. At the office. 

If you’re not there for the male gaze, you really do have to tell them so. And it’s ridiculous when you realize in 2020 there are men (and women) who still just don’t get it. “When you’re a woman in a male dominated space your very existence is in and of itself a power move and you don’t have to play down your femininity for acceptance...”

Meanwhile. Back at home.. IF you treat him like a King he’ll put you on a pedestal? WAITWHUT does that look like? And no human can stand between you? What does that look like? If you keep him strong he can conquer the world? Tell me in plain English, bruh, what that looks like? dammit! And why must the woman be your change agent? 

Fellas.. listen up. Read that last paragraph again. Reads like the wishlist of an energy vampire, not a king any woman could relax with, confide in, let alone totally trust.

Malcolm X said in his speech in May of 1962, exactly one month before my mother birthed me..

The most unprotected person in America is the black woman.

The most neglected person in America is the black woman."

And here we are in 2020, still feeling disrespected, unprotected, and neglected, among other things by our black men.. and white men too!.. pressing out strong misogynistic barriers to our relationship goals. Sans Beyoncé and her Lemonade stance. Yet a little bit assured, that what a Black woman might want, actually does exist out there somewhere, by the likes of Kenneth Walker the boyfriend of Breonna Taylor. 

We’re not asking you all to kill for us. Just offer some semblance of protectiveness in public, when necessary. 

And I dare say, if a strong confident Black woman came up on you, would you recognize her? Would you be interested in not testing her first? Would you embrace her spoken and unspoken expectations of you? Would you? Could you let your guard down and behave toward this strong woman like you trust her, and do the things you’re asking her to do? See her and recognize that she’s been through some crap as well, but she’s learned and mature enough to know there is no perfection and won’t see you as less than or compare and contrast unless and until there’s a reason from you to. 

Oh, but she will hold you up. She is strong that way. Not because it’s required by you, but because she requires it of herself. And she is not just a life giver. It’s not possible for her to be only that.. But only if she chooses to be that or not. So, if you want her to fill your voids, be your support, light your tender fires, you’ve got to make a similar move. Do it first perhaps. Meet her half way, at least. No baby steps. No half steps. One giant-assed step. Just one. Every day without asking her to shrink herself for you.

No more “IF you treat me like a King I’ll put you on a pedestal...” But say to her... “because you are a Queen I will build you your pedestal. Will you help me with mine?” See what happens. 

 Anyone can teach you about love... but I can make you good at it!

| This Photo & Prose by Jackie D. Rockwell |All Rights Reserved © 2008-2020 |