Monday, June 19, 2017

The Lady Who Stared

Could it be that some of us find clarity by fixating on others?  I often catch people staring at me.  I've been told I'm a fascinating person.  Yeah-well. I've also been told I have a very strong presence.  Yes-yes! I've been told my aura is blue.  Umkay.. I suppose so.  But just the same, it it very awkward looking up and finding someone wide eyed and staring right at your face.  Most people are not so obvious about it.  You know, they look away immediately when they realize you are aware.  Is it that they are trying to figure you out?  Do they see something on you? In you? Or around you?  I've even caught my own mother staring at me once or twice.  When I asked her why, she always says, "You're mine,  I can stare if I want." I am often approached by people who claim to be psychics. Handing me their cards with an invitation to read me for twenty bucks, or to meet them at a later date and pay a premium for the supposed life changing experience.  Yesterday while doing errands, a fellow shopper and I made what I thought was casual shoppers eye contact.  But when she held that glance for a very uncomfortable few moments, I thought.. How odd?  I acknowledged her interest and walked away.  A good thirty minutes later while standing in line to pay, I notice her again.. This time, she was turned a complete 180 in my direction.  She was two customers ahead of me accompanied by an elder woman cloaked in pink crocheted garb supporting herself and  her overstuffed purse on their shopping cart.  It was nearly 80 degrees outside. Why so many heavy duty clothes?  The starer was neatly bundled in all black and knee high boots.  And was that a wig or a weave?  Nobody's curls are that perfect!  She's tall. Wears no makeup.  Sort of ashy... The more she stared, the more annoyed I became. What was I to do?  Stand there in front of all these people and be stared at like that?  I was getting emotionally charged and admittedly defensive.  The urge to challenge her about being so rude was rising.  So I took a deep breath and spoke with a smile.. asking simply, "Are you okay?"  She didn't respond, nor did she break her trance.  I asked again.. "Why are you staring at me?"  She said nothing.  She didn't budge.  She didn't smile, or blink or nod.  A disruptive nudge from companion nudged and a smart, "stop that!" -changed things; and the two of them inched up a little in the line with their backs to me.  At this point, I knew, there was more to her than being a mere spectator of my royal Jackieness.  Maybe she did see my blue aura.  Or maybe it was that glowing green eye liner I was wearing.  I don't know, but when two check out clerks called out in unison.. "Next person in line."  She and the old woman went in one direction, I waited my turn to go in another.  Whoo (a huge sigh of relief)! Thank ya, Jesus.

Whatever the starer saw in me, she was definitely dedicated to seeing it.  My intuition was telling me not to lash out at her for being rude.  This act of seeing was not about me.  I got the sense that she was a special person with a gift of a certain kind of sight that only those people have.  Or she was like a cat.  I could be flattered or offended by a cat doing what cats do.  Or neither.  I chose neither.  But I am especially proud that I chose not to be offended.

Anyone can teach you about love... but I can make you good at it!

 Originally shared:  January 28, 2015. 12:06PM. Edited/Reposted: June 17, 2017.
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